The van is DEAD!!

Today was the day, after 2 years of hard graft it was Test Run Day! With the engine finally rebuilt, tested and running, the brakes firm (ish). It would be the first time since I purchased Chucky on that dreary day in December 2019 that it would leave the driveway. After completing a long list of pre-drive checks, I doffed my cap to bobblehead Elvis on the dashboard, performed a little prayer and turned the key..

The engine boomed into life – GREAT!! At about 12,000 Revs – FUCK!

There was a squeal, followed by a bang followed by complete silence, and then only the sound of the driver sobbing could be heard. The cab filled with the smell of electrical burning, then blue smoke! This turn out to be the low point in camper ownership.

I looked into the engine compartment and there plain to see was the culprit – a snagged accelerator cable, this had fired the engine up at full pelt from cold and new. My lovely new engine SIEZED! Quite literally the worst start to the New Year ever! I just didn’t have it in me to replace and renew everything again. This time I would outsource the build to an engineering company that knew what they were doing. I felt like an idiot.

2 days later followed an extensive and frantic search of all of Cheshires engine builders. I decided I would pay a visit to the nearest one – Crewe Engines (another mistake!), these guys have a solid reputation for rebuilding Mercedes engines, so I didn’t think a rebuild of the CJ would pose too many problems for them. After a long chat with Billy (the owner) a plan was hatched to get the Bus back up and running. Billy and the lads were going to resurrect the van for me all for the estimated price of £1000. Great let’s get it done I said.

4 weeks later and it’s time for a visit and a progress check. Tony (the Shop Manager) dialogues on the how tricky these things can be and takes me into the workshop where Martin has torn the engine down. I’m horrified! My shiny new parts are torn to bits and we are going to have to start the whole thing from scratch. Tony rubs his chin and tells me this is probably going to be a little more than the £1000 promised and estimates £4000! I cry!

That was February, I am told that I should have Chucky back in 4 weeks with a 2 year Guarantee – great news! Oh! By the way we also noticed your brakes are FUBAR. We can fix them for you, but, more cash!

March kicks in and I get the Covid-19 call. the workshop has been abandoned – you are going to have to wait a little longer – it turned out that was another 3 months. It would be June before I got the bus back. I once again try to start the bus – nothing. I ring Tony and he tells me there is probably no fuel in it! On looking there is a shit load of fuel in it, alarm bells ring once again. After a little testing I discover the fuel pump is knackered. After replacing this I try again and Chucky fires into life.

Now, I spent the best part of 5K on this rebuild the engine and it runs like shit – so much for professional engine builders. It never starts without a squirt of Bradex and dies after a few minutes. I ring Tony, he rings Martin and I am told that the Carb I have on the bus is probably not adequate for the CJ – how the fuck they tested this engine properly now baffles me?

I bite the bullet again which results in another large bill for a set of twin Weber ICT 34’s. It is now November 2020, the country is still in Covid lockdown and the bus remains on the driveway ready for the Carb replacement. I read endlessly about the Weber install coupled with endless YouTube viewing before the final install. I compliment this with a new fuel pump specifically rated for the Webers, a new Regulator, all new fuel pipes and build a new Tachometric fuel cut-off. I start the bus, nothing, I start again, it coughs! I decide to pour a little fuel down the neck of the carbs and the engine kicks in – great. Although I now know I have a fuel problem. On investigation, not only has the fuel in my tank gone off, but my fuel is clogged with rust and beyond repair.

This means a complete engine drop to replace the old with a new one for £300 plus the joy of stripping the carbs down and cleaning them for replacement. It is now February 2021.

I have since decided that this bus is Cursed and never destined to go anywhere. So the lesson to learn from all this?

WHEN YOU THINK YOU ARE GETTING A BARGAIN VW CAMPER FOR 10K YOU WILL END UP SPENDING ANOTHER 20K TO GET THE FUCKER WORKING! SAVE THE HARDSHIP AND BUY A DECENT ONE ON DAY ONE.